Co 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
Co 4:1 “Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.
But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” ESV
It isn’t easy living alone, in a city for almost two years where you hardly know single soul. and have no church family. This has been my posture for the past two years, after moving here from Kentucky. Back there, I experience a traumatic loss of a very dear relative, the passing of my 96 year old grandmother. For the last five years of her life, I had lived with and cared for her, because she had multiple health issues. She was a grand lady, to say the least. My maternal grandmother she and my late grandfather were my legal guardians growing up. So I was very close to them both. Gut at her last days, mostly because I made some bad choices, and because of the jealousy of other family members, my grandmother having changed her will to leave the house to me there was an estrangement from myself and most of my family.
My mother and uncle, the children of my grandma, will not speak to me, and one cousin absolutely detests me over a check she bounced to me. Her husband cursed me, with words I can’not repeat. He did say “I hope you ____die of AIDS you____ faggot pervert.” So – I really had nothing to keep me in Kentucky. I sold the house after the passing of my grandma, and moved to the deep south.
I write all this,, not because I am bitter, or not over all of it, but to the contrary I am, and the Lord Jesus has done a marvelous healing. However, I write because some may mis-understand why I post on a blog at all.
When one gets a little older and lives alone, one has a tendency to talk to himself, or the dog. In my case, I have a dog named Louise, the twin sister of another Sheltie named Thelma, after the movie duo. I do it all the time. Except now that I have experience somewhat of a Holy Ghost revival, I talk to God a lot too. But it is nice to have an audience of friends to chat with, and blogs, and social media affords that to a single senior.
Fot the longest time, I went without a church here because I bailed on the one I originally came to be a part of for reasons that I can’t reveal. It is personal, and involves others that I care about deeply. But the reality is that I bailed, and because I did, I reaped the silence of God for over a year and a half. Blogging has been the only solution, and most of it has been about politics, since my focus was not on revival, or the word. The challenging, debating team mentality came out in me, and I played the “devils advocate.” The opening scripture talks about that. Paul said that he didn’t “tamper with God’s word” He went on to say that he was given a ministry of what I call the ministry of transparency. He said he commended himself to others in the sight of God. Openly.
I have been too political. And some of my friends have wondered how I could present such views. When one spends so much time alone, talking with a pet that cant answer back, a veil can cover reason, thinking can get cloudy. When there is no Koinonia, no family of God one can slowly sink into all kinds of debate. I thank God for the beautiful people I am now connected with, where and with whom I can practice the ministry of transparency. I can commend myself to them in the sight of God, and focus on Jesus Christ, the Lord of my life, and the source of my strength and joy.